


Just For Now

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 06:39:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Just For Now

“Dean, I’m fine,” Castiel sighed as Dean readjusted his pillows and straightened the thin hospital blankets for the umpteenth time. “I told you that thirty seconds ago.” Despite himself, a loving smile tugged at his lips as he let Dean fuss.

“Cas, man … You can’t lie to me.” Dean rolled his shoulders and sat down at the bedside once more. His eyes flicked around the room again; it was a standard hospital room with white walls and black appliances. Dean couldn’t help but think that Cas just deserved better. He was an angel … not that the hospital staff knew that. And it wasn’t like Cas was dying … anymore.

“Dean. Dean, look at me.” Dean flicked his eyes toward Cas, taking in the other man’s tired blue eyes and sunken cheeks. “Trust me,” he murmured.

The incident had seriously taken its toll on Cas - for the first week after two agonizingly long ones of unconsciousness the most he could do was open his eyes and look blearily at Dean and Sam before succumbing to the unconsciousness once more. The next week was better, with Cas being able to squeeze Dean’s hands with a surprising degree of strength. This was now halfway into the third, and Cas was able to sit up, talk for short periods of time, use the washroom and feed himself. Not that Dean didn’t like feeding Cas; Cas regained his dignity by feeding himself and being able to get up and use the bathroom.

“Dude, you totally - she had you in a death grip and you - and that crazy light - and your _wings_ -“

“Dean! Despite my … diminished status, I am still capable of healing more quickly than you may think.” At Dean’s admonished glance downward, Castiel reached out and laid his hand on Dean’s hair. “This isn’t your fault, Dean.”

“But if I had gotten there in time-“

“No, Dean. Naomi was something I had to deal with myself. She ruined me. She made me kill my brother. She made me hostile toward everyone that I count as my friends. She … made me hostile toward the one person I care about more than my own life.”

“You almost died, Cas, I -“

“But I didn’t. Here I am, with you.”

Dean swallowed hard, but did not look up. He liked the feel of Castiel’s hand in his hair.

“You fell because of me,” he managed thickly, bringing his hands up to his face to cover the tears that had sprung unbidden in his eyes.

“I fell _for_ you, Dean -“

“Dammit Cas! You pretty much just died for me, how could you-” Dean jumped up and away from Castiel, his voice cracking before he could finish his sentence. Dean kicked the door, then put out a hand and leaned on the wall, letting out a rough breath. “How could you leave me like that?” Dean whispered, turning back to Cas.

Cas’ hand was still outstretched to where it had been sitting on Dean’s head, and the look on his face wrenched at Dean’s heart. Cas titled his head and furrowed his brow.

“No, Dean. I was doing the right thing -“

“You almost died!”

“But I didn’t!” Castiel’s voice was at a shout, and Dean stopped and blinked, taken aback. He didn’t think Cas had enough strength in him to shout. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dean was proud to have roused Cas’ energy.

“If I had died, it would have been all right because I finished the one person who has managed to hurt you more than anyone. You would be safe and _that’s all that matters to me_!”

Cas, who had been supporting himself up, fell back against the pillows, closing his eyes. “You would be safe,” he repeated without strength.

Dean threw himself back in the chair beside Cas’ bed and put his hands on the edge of Castiel’s bed. ” I- I-“

“You’re a fool, Dean.” Castiel, despite having just rent his energy at Dean, smiled fondly. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty.”

“I - what?”

Cas merely raised his eyebrows and began to relax his body in preparation for sleep. “I have to get some more rest, Dean. It helps me heal?”

Dean blinked. He guessed he would just have to figure Cas out on his own. “Yeah- yeah, right. Um, sleep well?” Dean moved to get up when Castiel reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling Dean in for a soft kiss.

Dean stood rigid for half a second, then melted into the kiss, savouring the smell and the feel of Cas. Dean felt Cas smile into the kiss before letting go of his shirt and pushing him lightly away.

“You need your sleep too, Dean.”

“Sweet dreams, Cas,” Dean breathed, stepping away. _I love you_ , he thought, never brave enough to voice it.

Dean could have sworn he heard a soft “I love you too,” but when he turned, Cas’ face was slack.


End file.
